After my own writings, I turn to Frank Mosca’s works as the best description of the Option Method.[ Bruce Di Marsico ] >
Consider the Possibilities[ Mar 30, 2011 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]
Can you find the two letter “Bs” in the group of letters above? Try visualizing the B in your mind first, then look. Make a difference? It did for me. When I focused on the Rs, the Bs were hard to find. But as soon as I fixed a B in my mind first, they popped out at me. My eye went right to it. Visual brainteasers are fun and challenging because they show us a different way of looking at things. They demonstrate how a shift in consciousness can actually change our vision. Things that were invisible to us become visible. We have the same eyes and the same brain, but something happened. We made something happen. We figured out how to see differently.I like this puzzle because it reminds me that things can be hidden in plain sight. Not just any things, but things that matter to our happiness. Things that we think our beyond our reach. Beyond our ability to comprehend. Things that we can see if we know how to look.
Solving Emotional Conundrums
I have a friend who always knows how to find lost objects. It’s uncanny. Whenever I lose anything, I always ask her to find it. And she always comes through. I asked her once how she does it. She said, I consider the possibilities of where it might be, and then I go get it.Consider the possibilities and go get it. Doesn’t that sound like a wonderful way to live? Think about every time in your life you have ever achieved anything. When you have ever figured out how to get what you wanted. Wasn’t this part of your way of thinking? It’s easy to understand in this context when it comes to wanting things. Whether it be a new job, or a bigger house or a smaller mortgage, we need to imagine what we want in order to go after it.But what about when you find yourself stuck in negative ways of thinking? Is there something you’ve been angry about for the last twenty years? Is there a fear that you can’t seem to overcome? Have you been beating yourself up over a mistake you made several months ago? Are you anxious right now and can’t seem to shake it? Are you stuck in a bad mood this week? This morning? For the last ten minutes?Are you considering the possibility that you could be free? Within each of these emotional conundrums, does the way out seem hidden from view?If your emotional problem was like our little puzzle of Rs and Bs, are you so focused looking at the Rs, that you don’t see the Bs?
R is for Reality
Imagine if our puzzle represented your view of the world when you are unhappy. Let’s say you are unhappy because you lost your job. Let’s say the Rs in the puzzle represent reality as you see it. What is your Reality? Perhaps you are saying: Jobs are hard to find. I don’t have the credentials I need. I don’t have the experience I need. I am running out of money. I look bad to friends and family. I am not going to find a job. I may have to give up my home. This is your view of your world according to you.Some of these things may be true. So how can you feel better? Does reality have to change in order for you to feel better? Do you have to feel bad until you find a job? Or have some good prospects? Isn’t it enough of a problem that you lost your job, do you have to be unhappy about it as well?Looking for a way out? What is hidden in plain sight that you are not seeing?
B is for Beliefs
Think about the one aspect of your reality that is actually within your control right now this minute. You may not be able to change the situation. But you can certainly change the way you feel about it. How? By examining the beliefs behind your unhappiness. By looking at the reality you see before you and finding out what you believe about its power to make you feel bad.Often when we are unhappy, we only see the reality of the situation – which we think of as the truth. We don’t see our own beliefs about how that reality can affect us. It is one and the same to us, so that the belief that we have to feel bad also seems like the truth.If we are willing to see the Bs in our view of the world and consider that they may not be the truth – that they don’t have to be part of our reality, we can begin to find the way out of emotional conundrums.
Consider the Possibilities
So consider the possibility that you don’t have to be unhappy. Consider the possibility that feeling bad doesn’t have to be part of reality. It may be true that you lost your job, or are dealing with other challenging problems. Consider the possibility that those things cannot make you feel bad.If you focus on the things that you can really change – your beliefs about your own unhappiness – you will be free to illuminate the possibilities of your life.