[ Declare your emotional independence ]

Bruce M. Di Marsico.

In the late 1960’s a psychotherapist named Bruce M. Di Marsico set out to understand the nature of unhappiness. He knew in his heart that happiness is our natural state. Why, then, he wondered were people so unhappy so much of the time? 

Why, even when they were happy, did that happiness seem tentative and fragile? Over the years, he had asked himself these questions many times.

Ever a brilliant person, he was also intensely spiritual, with a passion to help people end the suffering in their lives. This led him to a seminary in the late 1950s, but he found the environment to be too restrictive for the growth that be believed was possible. Eventually, he became a psychotherapist, which gave him the opportunity to hear people talk about the broad spectrum of emotional suffering. 

Bruce Di Marsico created The Option Method in the late 60s as a result of decisions he made about the nature of unhappiness and happiness. In the context of The Option Method, he defined unhappiness as

“the feeling (belief) that a degree of happiness is threatened and one is, to a degree, helpless to be happy. The belief (feeling) about the degree of threat, and how helpless one is, produces exactly, the degree of the profoundness and the nature of the emotion; from slight to extreme. Unhappiness is a good model word for what people describe as bad or uncomfortable feelings – feelings that they need to stop in order to feel good.”


While Bruce was a psychotherapist, he ultimately expanded the practice of The Option Method from a therapy to what is essentially a personal growth and development tool. 

I have plenty of opportunities to practice dialog with my massage clients. Since your workshop I feel more comfortable, stuck less often and much more…

[ Joe Graham ] >

Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you…

Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you ever want to learn to do it for yourself, you’ve got to be at least as nice to you as you would be to others. You’ve got to know when you’re ready to deal with something and when you’re not. And you’ve got to know when you don’t want to question your unhappiness and when you’d be glad to. When you get unhappy enough you’ll be glad to.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]