Sunday morning yoga. Tree pose. If you have ever done it, you know – it’s all about balance. And it’s all about the strength of opposing forces. Standing on one leg, arms raised above your head, you root yourself to the ground, squeeze your core and let your arms pull you up to the sky. Rooted and reaching.
For me, tree pose is like a barometer of mental and physical balance, like so many yoga poses. That’s what I love about yoga. When I go to the mat, I always know exactly where I’m at even if I wasn’t thinking about it before. Some days I am steady as a rock; other days, a soft breeze could blow me over. Today, I was all over the place and I realized, I was distracted by thinking about someone who isn’t giving me the support I would love to have. When I thought it through (Option Method style), I realized that I was believing that lack of support meant that I had to question the very foundation of my being. And that could be bad for my happiness. Or could it? As I stood in tree pose, swaying precariously (did someone yell “timber”?) I thought about what the foundation of my being really is?
In short, who am I anyway? What is the meaning of my life? Now, years ago – 40 years ago, to be exact – was probably the last time I had that question. It is not something I really ever question or even think about. Forty years ago, I met Bruce Di Marsico and learned The Option Method. I realized then and remembered again today, that the only purpose of my life that matters to me, is my happiness.
But today, I was thinking about it a little differently. Who am I? I asked myself. Who am I really? Every thing about my life can change. I could even have surgery and change my looks. Even the cells in my body are in the process of completely changing over. Who is the me in me? What am I rooted in? And what is the purpose of me? What am I reaching for?
I should mention here that the theme of our yoga class today was about surrender. And I realized, what if I did strip away all the things I define as myself, all the purposes of my life – with the small “p’s” and capital “P’s”. What if I questioned the very foundation of my being – on my own terms – knowing that whatever I say that foundation is, is my own choice anyway. What really defines me, then? Who and what is even behind the decisionmaker?
So I asked myself – whoever that is – and here is the answer: I. am. here.
So be it.
Then we went and hung upside down. But that’s a revelation for another day.
And now a word from Bruce on the subject:
“There are no secrets about the meaning of your life. There are nothing but “secrets” about the meaning of “Life” (in the abstract). You are the meaning of your life. You give it meaning.” (from The Option Method; The Myth of Unhappiness, Vol. 3).