Sunday morning yoga. Tree pose. If you have ever done it, you know – it’s all about balance.¬† And it’s all about the strength of opposing forces.¬†¬† Standing on one leg, arms raised above your head, you root yourself to the ground, squeeze your core and let your arms pull you up to the sky.¬†¬† Rooted and reaching.
For me, tree pose is like a barometer of mental and physical balance, like so many yoga poses.¬† That’s what I love about yoga.¬† When I go to the mat, I always know exactly where I’m at even if I wasn’t thinking about it before.¬† Some days I am steady as a rock; other days, a soft breeze could blow me over.¬†¬† Today, I was all over the place and I realized, I was distracted by thinking about someone who isn’t giving me the support I would love to have.¬† When I thought it through (Option Method style), I realized that I was believing that lack of support meant that I had to question the very foundation of my being.¬† And that could be bad for my happiness.¬† Or could it?¬† As I stood in tree pose, swaying precariously (did someone yell “timber”?)¬† I thought about what the foundation of my being really is?
In short, who am I anyway?¬† What is the meaning of my life?¬† Now, years ago – 40 years ago, to be exact – was probably the last time I had that question.¬† It is not something I really ever question or even think about.¬† Forty years ago, I met Bruce Di Marsico and learned The Option Method.¬† I realized then and remembered again today, that the only purpose of my life that matters to me, is my happiness.
But today, I was thinking about it a little differently.¬† Who am I?¬† I asked myself.¬† Who am I really?¬† Every thing about my life can change.¬† I could even have surgery and change my looks.¬† Even the cells in my body are in the process of completely changing over.¬† Who is the me in me?¬† What am I rooted in?¬† And what is the purpose of me?¬† What am I reaching for?
I should mention here that the theme of our yoga class today was about surrender.¬† And I realized, what if I did strip away all the things I define as myself, all the purposes of my life – with the small “p’s” and capital “P’s”.¬† What if I questioned the very foundation of my being – on my own terms – knowing that whatever I say that foundation is, is my own choice anyway.¬† What really defines me, then?¬† Who and what is even behind the decisionmaker?
So I asked myself – whoever that is – and here is the answer:¬† I. am. here.
So be it.
Then we went and hung upside down.¬† But that’s a revelation for another day.
And now a word from Bruce on the subject:
“There are no secrets about the meaning of your life.¬† There are nothing but “secrets” about the meaning of “Life” (in the abstract).¬† You are the meaning of your life. You give it meaning.”¬† (from The Option Method; The Myth of Unhappiness, Vol. 3).