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If you have ever asked yourself what is the secret of life, or why am I here, or what does this all mean; if you have ever wondered whether there is s…

[ Ira R. ] >

Archive for: The Option Method

+ If you can’t be happy, can you be at peace?

[ Posted on 05.19.2018 ]

Okay, this is a trick question because we can always be happy, albeit only if we believe we can and only if we believe it’s a good idea. That’s called free will. We do have a choice about when we are happy and just how happy we want to be. Sometimes we’re okay. Sometimes we’re ecstatic. Sometimes we’re jubilant. Sometimes all is well with the world and we are at peace. We humans are brilliant about creating nuances of feeling that are just perfect for the situation and we don’t even have to think about it. But here is one situation where thinking about it can be freeing. When we realize that we are rejecting happiness because we believe it doesn’t serve us, that’s the time to reconsider your definition of happiness. Here’s an example from an Option Method dialogue. Alicia was extremely upset when her daughter stayed out all…

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+ How can we use our creativity to be happier people?

[ Posted on 04.12.2018 ]

  What does it mean to be a creative person?  Steve Jobs said it’s “just connecting things,” and the more dots or experiences we have to connect, the more creative we are.  John Cleese said “Creativity is not a talent. It’s a way of operating.”  Ray Bradbury said it’s “the art of muting the rational mind.”  All of that makes sense to me and it’s just the tip of the iceberg – the subject of creativity is vast.  Discussions and definitions abound throughout every discipline. While we have celebrated creative endeavors since the dawn of man, as a word, it did not come into being until a 17th century Polish poet, Maciej Kazimierz Sarbiewski, spoke of the poet as “creating anew,” even “in the manner of God.”  Thought of that way, everyone is creative. We all create anew every day in so many ways. Every time we do something a…

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+ Are stress and sleep related?

[ Posted on 03.16.2018 ]

I remember when I was a kid and well into my 30s, I slept like a hibernating bear.  Twelve hours was nothing to me. At least on the weekends. During the work week, I’d get by on half of that and pretty much always felt sleep deprived. But when I slept, I slept well. I’m not sure at what point my sleep patterns changed, but now I could never sleep that much. I typically log in 7-8 hours, but very rarely is it straight-through sleep. That’s fine as long as I go back to sleep and most often I do. But then there are those nights when I just can’t seem to drop off again for a long time. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 8 out of 10 adults experience some type of sleep difficulty, either trouble falling or staying asleep and…

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+ Does change have to be stressful?

[ Posted on 03.13.2018 ]

Things change and we’re not always ready for it.  Yesterday you had a job you thought you could depend upon; today you’re out of work.  You thought your marriage was fine; now you’re facing divorce.   You thought you were in good health; now you know you need major surgery.    You just became the victim of identity theft.   Your house just burned down.  You lost half your savings in the stock market. These are tough challenges.  You may have faced some of these yourself or others like them.  All of these circumstances represent those times in our lives when things change quickly or significantly.  Circumstances that we often feel unprepared for.    That are on our list of “least wanted” things to happen.    All of these situations can certainly stop us in our tracks and turn our life as we know it upside down. But the worst part of all can…

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+ Can The Option Method help with guilt and shame?

[ Posted on 02.16.2018 ]

Our focus this month has been on guilt and shame, two sides of the coin of self judgment.  Do you know the difference?  Check out Google “What is the difference between Guilt and Shame?”  and you will find more than 10 million entries. Brene Brown has a simple way to define it: “the difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad’.” I’d go further and say both guilt and shame stem from the belief that I am bad.  Saying I did something bad – in the sense that we feel guilty (or bad) about it, is the same as saying I am bad. Otherwise we would never feel bad about it. We would simply observe – Oh I did something that caused xyz to happen. Think about something you feel guilty about and ask yourself this question: If I didn’t feel…

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When we want to feel a certain way, let us look closely. We will find that we have actually begun to…

When we want to feel a certain way, let us look closely. We will find that we have actually begun to feel that way. To decide is really to discover that what we want to feel we are beginning to feel. To decide means “Don’t decide for the past—the future is beginning."

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]