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'The Guru Next Door' is a well-written and riveting tale of self-discovery. It weaves a personal story of pain and learning with the greater teaching…

[ Valerie Gilbert, NYC ] >

Archive for: Making choices

+ You and me and the Game of Thrones

[ Posted on 08.13.2017 ]

Families are notorious for typecasting. Sara is the negotiator but Robert knows has to get things done. Mary could sit and draw all day but Bill is a born salesman. Jack is great at sports but Sasha has a flare for writing. Part of growing up is finding out what we are good at and maybe not so good at. Certainly if no one tells us, we figure it out for ourselves as we try to figure ourselves out. Then we grow up and guess what? That typecasting tends to stick. We think of our family members as we have always thought of them and we think of ourselves the way we always have. Of course, we do grow and change. I used to think of myself as a physically weak because I was sick a lot as a child. That myth got blasted when I backpacked in Europe in…

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+ Is it bad to limit the self?

[ Posted on 04.25.2016 ]

I never really liked the expression “self-limiting”, as in self-limiting beliefs, although it does comes in handy to describe how we stop ourselves – block ourselves – stand in our own way.   I use the term myself for lack of something better, but in the back of my mind there is always a tugging thought – reminding me that whenever we limit ourselves in any way, we always believe it is the best thing to do at the time, given the circumstances.  Regardless of what we might say to ourselves at the time, we could never do this if we didn’t think it was a good idea.  And guess what? Who else could make this decision but a limitless self who is always available to decide when to stop and when to go. The essence of unhappiness is believing that I will limit myself to my own detriment.  That…

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+ Is happiness calling you?

[ Posted on 10.12.2015 ]

Is happiness calling you? Does it tug at your consciousness, whisper in your ear, float through your dreams? Does it seem like a dream sometimes? Something nice to think about for the future. Something saved for special occasions and life circumstances. If happiness is calling, who is it that is calling?  Is it something outside you or within you? Is happiness calling you or is it your calling?  When we think of happiness as our calling, we can know that everything within us tends towards happiness, just as everything within us tends towards life.   We can no more try to be happy than we can try to be alive.  It is also a way of affirming our own choice to respond to our internal call to happiness – to make it the central theme of our lives, no matter what. We don’t experience this choice when we are unhappy.…

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+ Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place?

[ Posted on 10.07.2015 ]

You can’t seem to get started with that project, get up on time, lose those pounds.  You have problems making decisions, following through on commitments, throwing away those old newspapers.  You don’t know what to do about losing your job, your health insurance, or even your keys. All of these challenges can be strictly practical – a matter of figuring out what to do next, who to call, where to find information.  But when we find ourselves spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we might be stuck in the mud of our own emotional inertia.  Here’s an example. Sharon wants to make a decision about whether to go to law school or take a job offer at an internet company.  She collects all the information, talks to her friends, researches schools, but she still can’t bring herself to make a decision.  When she thinks about going to law school,…

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+ Is Happiness Your Road Not Taken?

[ Posted on 09.14.2015 ]

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. I learned Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken when I was a kid in grammar school and it has stayed with me all these years.   I especially love these last three lines, which for me, sum up what it means to follow your own heart, even if it leads you down an unfamiliar path.  I love to think about this within the context of happiness and unhappiness.  If you were presented with two paths in any given situation, one to happiness – the other to unhappiness – however you imagine it, which path do you think you would take? Most of us would probably say, I would always choose the path to happiness.  After all, who wouldn’t want to be happy?  Why would we ever choose otherwise?  Who…

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Unhappiness is the belief that you’re not free.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]