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If you have the least bit of unhappiness in your life then make every opportunity to learn from Wendy Dolber and Dr. Frank Mosca.

[ Lionel Ketchian ] >

Archive for: family relationships

+ You and me and the Game of Thrones

[ Posted on 08.13.2017 ]

Families are notorious for typecasting. Sara is the negotiator but Robert knows has to get things done. Mary could sit and draw all day but Bill is a born salesman. Jack is great at sports but Sasha has a flare for writing. Part of growing up is finding out what we are good at and maybe not so good at. Certainly if no one tells us, we figure it out for ourselves as we try to figure ourselves out. Then we grow up and guess what? That typecasting tends to stick. We think of our family members as we have always thought of them and we think of ourselves the way we always have. Of course, we do grow and change. I used to think of myself as a physically weak because I was sick a lot as a child. That myth got blasted when I backpacked in Europe in…

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+ Your mother is calling. Are you listening?

[ Posted on 08.07.2017 ]

  I’m not someone who looks for signs from those who have passed on. But I do like to keep my antennae up just in case. My mother has been dead for over 15 years now and although I have experienced more openness to her, more understanding, more love, it tends to be a one way street. But after reading Marion Goldstein’s wonderful book, Embracing the Sign, A Journey of Faith, Science and Experience, I realized that there have been times when I’ve experienced uncanny occurrences that seemed like a tap on my shoulder from another plane of existence. For example, during a particularly contentious time with my sister, I just happened to find a letter my Mother wrote me many years prior. I was going through a stack of miscellaneous papers, which always seem to populate my desk, and it just emerged. In the letter, she thanked me for being…

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+ What are you holding on to when you hold on to anger?

[ Posted on 05.17.2016 ]

Time heals all wounds, or so it is said. Think about a time when you grieved every day over the loss of a loved one. Think about something that made you so angry you couldn’t stop thinking about it. What about that embarrassing moment so long ago that you thought you would never get over? Do you still feel the same way today? Chances are as with so many things, with time, things change, memories fade and we move on. Unless we don’t. You’re fine until the anniversary of the death of a loved one. You’re at peace until someone reminds you about that thing that made you so angry. You find yourself sharing in the embarrassment of others a little too empathically. If time truly heals all wounds, why are we still suffering? With time, new experiences and the relevancy of the event to daily life, we do move…

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+ Do you love the one you’re with?

[ Posted on 02.13.2016 ]

Love you much? What do you think about you? Would you say you’re your kind of person? Does thinking about you put a warm glow in your heart? Are you okay with you? In love with you? Your own best friend? Or, is that little jury in your inner courtroom always in session? Are you constantly judging and nagging, name-calling and chastising? Are you holding yourself at arm’s length until a better you comes along? Withholding love and acceptance for another day? Another lifetime? How’s that going? Does it matter whether we love ourselves or not? Isn’t that the job of others? Surely that’s one way of looking at it. But is it even possible to feel love, accept love, enjoy the love of others if we don’t love ourselves first? And when we withhold love from ourselves, don’t we often treat others the same way? Not a good set-up…

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+ Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place?

[ Posted on 10.07.2015 ]

You can’t seem to get started with that project, get up on time, lose those pounds.  You have problems making decisions, following through on commitments, throwing away those old newspapers.  You don’t know what to do about losing your job, your health insurance, or even your keys. All of these challenges can be strictly practical – a matter of figuring out what to do next, who to call, where to find information.  But when we find ourselves spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we might be stuck in the mud of our own emotional inertia.  Here’s an example. Sharon wants to make a decision about whether to go to law school or take a job offer at an internet company.  She collects all the information, talks to her friends, researches schools, but she still can’t bring herself to make a decision.  When she thinks about going to law school,…

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Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you…

Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you ever want to learn to do it for yourself, you’ve got to be at least as nice to you as you would be to others. You’ve got to know when you’re ready to deal with something and when you’re not. And you’ve got to know when you don’t want to question your unhappiness and when you’d be glad to. When you get unhappy enough you’ll be glad to.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]