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The Option Method, created by Bruce Di Marsico, has been one of the greatest gifts I have received in my life. By collecting Bruces transcripts and w…

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Archive for: family relationships

+ Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place?

[ Posted on 08.02.2018 ]

You can’t seem to get started with that project, get up on time, lose those pounds.  You have problems making decisions, following through on commitments, throwing away those old newspapers.  You don’t know what to do about losing your job, your health insurance, or even your keys. All of these challenges can be strictly practical – a matter of figuring out what to do next, who to call, where to find information.  But when we find ourselves spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we might be stuck in the mud of our own emotional inertia.  Here’s an example. Sharon wants to make a decision about whether to go to law school or take a job offer at an internet company.  She collects all the information, talks to her friends, researches schools, but she still can’t bring herself to make a decision.  When she thinks about going to law school,…

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+ If you can’t be happy, can you be at peace?

[ Posted on 05.19.2018 ]

Okay, this is a trick question because we can always be happy, albeit only if we believe we can and only if we believe it’s a good idea. That’s called free will. We do have a choice about when we are happy and just how happy we want to be. Sometimes we’re okay. Sometimes we’re ecstatic. Sometimes we’re jubilant. Sometimes all is well with the world and we are at peace. We humans are brilliant about creating nuances of feeling that are just perfect for the situation and we don’t even have to think about it. But here is one situation where thinking about it can be freeing. When we realize that we are rejecting happiness because we believe it doesn’t serve us, that’s the time to reconsider your definition of happiness. Here’s an example from an Option Method dialogue. Alicia was extremely upset when her daughter stayed out all…

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+ What are we teaching our children about work?

[ Posted on 10.13.2017 ]

What are you broadcasting to your kids about work? Perhaps you love your job and regularly share accomplishments around the dinner table. Your kids are used to seeing you energetically tackle the workweek, coming home with plenty of energy for family time. Or, work is a black hole that you disappear into each Monday, stumbling home on Friday exhausted and disgruntled. Whether you love your job or hate it (and everything in between), what do you want to teach your children about work with your attitude and behavior? And if you have an unhappy relationship with work, can you really isolate that from your family? How much energy do you have for them when you are shut down over something that went wrong on the job? What are you teaching them about how you feel about them? Maybe you don’t have the perfect job. Maybe your boss can be a…

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+ You and me and the Game of Thrones

[ Posted on 08.13.2017 ]

Families are notorious for typecasting. Sara is the negotiator but Robert knows has to get things done. Mary could sit and draw all day but Bill is a born salesman. Jack is great at sports but Sasha has a flare for writing. Part of growing up is finding out what we are good at and maybe not so good at. Certainly if no one tells us, we figure it out for ourselves as we try to figure ourselves out. Then we grow up and guess what? That typecasting tends to stick. We think of our family members as we have always thought of them and we think of ourselves the way we always have. Of course, we do grow and change. I used to think of myself as a physically weak because I was sick a lot as a child. That myth got blasted when I backpacked in Europe in…

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+ Your mother is calling. Are you listening?

[ Posted on 08.07.2017 ]

  I’m not someone who looks for signs from those who have passed on. But I do like to keep my antennae up just in case. My mother has been dead for over 15 years now and although I have experienced more openness to her, more understanding, more love, it tends to be a one way street. But after reading Marion Goldstein’s wonderful book, Embracing the Sign, A Journey of Faith, Science and Experience, I realized that there have been times when I’ve experienced uncanny occurrences that seemed like a tap on my shoulder from another plane of existence. For example, during a particularly contentious time with my sister, I just happened to find a letter my Mother wrote me many years prior. I was going through a stack of miscellaneous papers, which always seem to populate my desk, and it just emerged. In the letter, she thanked me for being…

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No thing in the world gives happiness. No thing or lack of any thing causes unhappiness. Happiness i…

No thing in the world gives happiness. No thing or lack of any thing causes unhappiness. Happiness is.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]