[ Declare your emotional independence ]



I have been doing dialogues with myself, and have had some quite startling realizations. It is clearly a very powerful tool!

[ Randy A ] >

Archive for: Beliefs

+ Are stress and sleep related?

[ Posted on 03.16.2018 ]

I remember when I was a kid and well into my 30s, I slept like a hibernating bear.  Twelve hours was nothing to me. At least on the weekends. During the work week, I’d get by on half of that and pretty much always felt sleep deprived. But when I slept, I slept well. I’m not sure at what point my sleep patterns changed, but now I could never sleep that much. I typically log in 7-8 hours, but very rarely is it straight-through sleep. That’s fine as long as I go back to sleep and most often I do. But then there are those nights when I just can’t seem to drop off again for a long time. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 8 out of 10 adults experience some type of sleep difficulty, either trouble falling or staying asleep and…

Read more

+ Does change have to be stressful?

[ Posted on 03.13.2018 ]

Things change and we’re not always ready for it.  Yesterday you had a job you thought you could depend upon; today you’re out of work.  You thought your marriage was fine; now you’re facing divorce.   You thought you were in good health; now you know you need major surgery.    You just became the victim of identity theft.   Your house just burned down.  You lost half your savings in the stock market. These are tough challenges.  You may have faced some of these yourself or others like them.  All of these circumstances represent those times in our lives when things change quickly or significantly.  Circumstances that we often feel unprepared for.    That are on our list of “least wanted” things to happen.    All of these situations can certainly stop us in our tracks and turn our life as we know it upside down. But the worst part of all can…

Read more

+ Can The Option Method help with guilt and shame?

[ Posted on 02.16.2018 ]

Our focus this month has been on guilt and shame, two sides of the coin of self judgment.  Do you know the difference?  Check out Google “What is the difference between Guilt and Shame?”  and you will find more than 10 million entries. Brene Brown has a simple way to define it: “the difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad’.” I’d go further and say both guilt and shame stem from the belief that I am bad.  Saying I did something bad – in the sense that we feel guilty (or bad) about it, is the same as saying I am bad. Otherwise we would never feel bad about it. We would simply observe – Oh I did something that caused xyz to happen. Think about something you feel guilty about and ask yourself this question: If I didn’t feel…

Read more

+ The Only Resolution You’ll Ever Need

[ Posted on 12.14.2017 ]

As the New Year approaches and we begin to think about resolutions, we’re often looking at areas of our lives that seem out of balance – what we want more of and less of. Last January NBC News reported iQuanti statistics for Google searches on New Year’s resolutions (1). It’s not surprising that get healthy, get organized and live life to the fullest topped the chart, followed by learn new hobbies, spend less/save more, travel more and read more. While these are all great ideas, I am aware that New Year’s resolutions often dissolve into oblivion by February. Why is that? I suspect it might have something to do with the whole mental construct of making resolutions in the first place. Why do we need to create a resolution for something we know we want to do? I don’t need a resolution to wear clean clothes or go food shopping,…

Read more

+ How can we live in the present?

[ Posted on 09.10.2017 ]

One of the greatest yoga teachers of our time, B.K.S. Iyengar*, tells us: “Poets and wise men since the beginning of the written word have enjoined us in all culture to live in the present moment because it is all we really have.  Have you ever wondered, while watching nature films on television in which herds of beautiful gazelles are constantly surrounded by marauding predators, why their life is not a living hell of fear and insecurity? How can they live their family lives of courtship, procreation, joy in their own physical perfection, knowing that the inevitable end will be in the lion’s maw? You cannot say it is dull fatalism, or lack of imagination. If they lacked imagination why would they run away so fast? The answer must be that they have the capacity to live in the present moment as it is and not as it might be.…

Read more

To be happy, know that even though you cannot imagine your happiness in the future, you don’t …

To be happy, know that even though you cannot imagine your happiness in the future, you don’t have to be unhappy today.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]