[ Declare your emotional independence ]

Archives.

Categories.

I had so much energy after our talk that I went out for a long walk, processing so much. It felt like such an answer for me that I have been searching…

[ Judy W ] >

Blog

+ If you can’t be happy, can you be at peace?

[ Posted on 05.19.2018 ]

Okay, this is a trick question because we can always be happy, albeit only if we believe we can and only if we believe it’s a good idea. That’s called free will. We do have a choice about when we are happy and just how happy we want to be. Sometimes we’re okay. Sometimes we’re ecstatic. Sometimes we’re jubilant. Sometimes all is well with the world and we are at peace. We humans are brilliant about creating nuances of feeling that are just perfect for the situation and we don’t even have to think about it. But here is one situation where thinking about it can be freeing. When we realize that we are rejecting happiness because we believe it doesn’t serve us, that’s the time to reconsider your definition of happiness. Here’s an example from an Option Method dialogue. Alicia was extremely upset when her daughter stayed out all…

Read more

+ Get your daily minimum requirement of nothingness

[ Posted on 05.18.2018 ]

  One of the most gorgeous poems I have ever heard is by Franz Kafka. It goes like this:  You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice It will roll in ecstasy at your feet. Wow. When was the last time you took a dip in your own private oasis? You know, that quiet place where you can go to recharge your batteries, get away from it all, hear yourself think, renew your energy. Now, I’m not talking about your hot tub, or the neighborhood watering hole, or a glass of wine on the train ride home – albeit all wonderful and worthy things. And I’m not talking about taking a spin around…

Read more

+ How can we use our creativity to be happier people?

[ Posted on 04.12.2018 ]

  What does it mean to be a creative person?  Steve Jobs said it’s “just connecting things,” and the more dots or experiences we have to connect, the more creative we are.  John Cleese said “Creativity is not a talent. It’s a way of operating.”  Ray Bradbury said it’s “the art of muting the rational mind.”  All of that makes sense to me and it’s just the tip of the iceberg – the subject of creativity is vast.  Discussions and definitions abound throughout every discipline. While we have celebrated creative endeavors since the dawn of man, as a word, it did not come into being until a 17th century Polish poet, Maciej Kazimierz Sarbiewski, spoke of the poet as “creating anew,” even “in the manner of God.”  Thought of that way, everyone is creative. We all create anew every day in so many ways. Every time we do something a…

Read more

+ Are stress and sleep related?

[ Posted on 03.16.2018 ]

I remember when I was a kid and well into my 30s, I slept like a hibernating bear.  Twelve hours was nothing to me. At least on the weekends. During the work week, I’d get by on half of that and pretty much always felt sleep deprived. But when I slept, I slept well. I’m not sure at what point my sleep patterns changed, but now I could never sleep that much. I typically log in 7-8 hours, but very rarely is it straight-through sleep. That’s fine as long as I go back to sleep and most often I do. But then there are those nights when I just can’t seem to drop off again for a long time. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 8 out of 10 adults experience some type of sleep difficulty, either trouble falling or staying asleep and…

Read more

+ Does change have to be stressful?

[ Posted on 03.13.2018 ]

Things change and we’re not always ready for it.  Yesterday you had a job you thought you could depend upon; today you’re out of work.  You thought your marriage was fine; now you’re facing divorce.   You thought you were in good health; now you know you need major surgery.    You just became the victim of identity theft.   Your house just burned down.  You lost half your savings in the stock market. These are tough challenges.  You may have faced some of these yourself or others like them.  All of these circumstances represent those times in our lives when things change quickly or significantly.  Circumstances that we often feel unprepared for.    That are on our list of “least wanted” things to happen.    All of these situations can certainly stop us in our tracks and turn our life as we know it upside down. But the worst part of all can…

Read more

The principle of The Option Method is to take unhappiness from that vague cloud of confusion and tha…

The principle of The Option Method is to take unhappiness from that vague cloud of confusion and that which just happens to you by fate and bad genetics or whatever, and bring it down to the real dynamics that cause emotions, your beliefs and your judgments, and that people who want to get happier and happier don’t need to do this all the time.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]